Why Nice Guys Finish Last

Here is a true story from a few years ago.

I met a girl in the 7th grade and we became fast friends, probably because we had so much in common. Of course, not coming from the largest of towns, we wound up in high school together and around the 9th grade, we began dating, but not each other. She began going out with the lowest grade of humanity. The worst guys on the block got her attention but no one else ever did. From then until the fall of our junior year, she had...I don't know how many boyfriends, but it was a lot more than I had girlfriends. Universaly, and I mean without one exception, they cast her aside quickly, and the worst of them dumped her publicly and cheated on her. Problem is, she kept expecting me to put my life on hold whenever hers went to hell.

A lot of nice guys know what I'm talking about. When she's single, she sees you as an emotional crutch, but that's about all you will ever be. You're helpful, you make her feel better about herself, and all that, but the moment another jerk is remotely interested, you're forgotten until she needs your shoulder to cry on after her next heartbreak.

Been there, done that.

I remember counseling her too many times about how she needed to stop dating guys who were scumbags. She always seemed to know what she was getting into, but wouldn't stop doing it. After two years of this, my own girlfriend dumped me (for someone more handsome, her words, not mine), and about a week later, she got dumped. She never let me get a word in edgewise about how I felt or what had even happened to me, even though she knew about it. She just cried and whined about how all men suck, even though she was only interested in one type. After that, I was enraged. I stopped answering her e-mails, her text messages, and in school, I didn't even look at her. When she spoke to me, I pretended she didn't exist.

A couple of weeks after this treatment, she talked to another friend of mine (a male one) to try to figure out what was up. He, knowing the situation, blasted into her, telling her that he heartbreaks were her fault because she was too stupid to realize what she was doing, and I didn't deserve to pay for it anymore. He told her that I was the only one who was ever nice to her and she had driven me away. Apparently, after an hour or two of this tongue-lashing, she realized that I really cared for her. Needless to say, she was on my doorstep that day. I didn't answer the door. Not at first.

The next day, she called me several times, and I finally answered just to make the ringing stop. She told me she was coming over and minutes later, there she was. She told me that she never realized that she had feelings for me, or that I had genuine ones for her, and all that. She told me that she always regarded me as a friend, that being the kiss of death. I told her that being her friend was too expensive and painful, and I wasn't going to do it anymore. I also told her that I wasn't going to be with her just to get dumped for the next scumbag who came along. She hooked up with one that same week. I was shocked. Wouldn't you be?

Those last two years, I became the biggest jerk you ever met, and my own love life improved dramatically. I was criticized for it once or twice, but I always retorted, "What's the point? Should I be lonely for the rest of my life just because being nice is the right thing to do?" I got plenty of sex senior year. Her love life tanked. I continued to throughout college. That was years ago, and I have only become a bigger jerk, and more and more women seem to love it.

I have also become a total mysoginist, that is, I only feel contempt for women. I feel neither shame nor regret for this. Women want to be treated like crap, so I treat them that way. I see it all the time. Women treating good men like doormats then begging them to offer their shoulders to cry on, but never caring about them. If women love being unhappy so much, why not indulge them? Being a nice guy never got me anything but stepped on and used up.

I have become what I used to hate. But it was worth it. Women may complain (constantly) about how hard it is to find a nice guy, but the problem is that they don't want one. So, the bigger a jerk I am, the more they like it. Women bring it on themselves and I don't feel one ounce of pity for them. Why should I? They feel none for the nice guys they walk all over.

I also am under no illusions about what I really am. I know that I am a terrible person. But women are by-and-large no better, but they are just more skilled at pretending to be something else and then crying like babies about it when it blows up in their faces. I may be the worst of us, but I wouldn't change it for anything.

Ya know I have considered myself a decent guy all my life. I have always stood by and support anyone through hard times. I will admit that time and time again I have watched guys treat girls I care about like crap and totally walk all over them, use them for their own means. I never once left them when they needed support. However they ended up running back to everything that they had complained that they hated and ended up getting hurt again. It really tears me apart to see it. I have grown to detest many men that mistreat their counterparts. I often ask myself. Is it me? Are these women just stupid? Nice guys may win the race in the end....but seriously. Girls please that guy isn't just there to listen. He's trying to offer much much more. He's TRYING to give you what you want. Taking the support from them and than running back to what hurt you before hurts them far more than you know. Further more when that moron DOES finally fall through and you can't go back to him you have no right to try to get them back if/when you go looking for the support you found in them. It's a sad story however most nice guys will vouch when I say that their hearts are broken probably more often than anyones. When all they wanted to do was see the women that they adored and cared about.

I am a firm believer in the Nice Guys Finish Last theory. I'm a nice guy, and a big reason I feel like I finish last is that I have too much of conscious. I mean I think about acting like a jerk, but deep down I can't do it because I don't have the stomach to treat girls and women like disposable wipes. Jerks don't have that problem because they only care about themselves, which is both good and bad.

After being burned so many times, I think I am at the point of indifference. IF (I say if because there are hardly any good women left out there) I see some girl somewhere I just don't feel like talking to them or I wanna be really cynical and something like "How mad would your boyfriend get if I said hi to you?" I think thats where Nice Guys end up. As volcanoes of emotion boiling inside just waiting to explode, wanting to shoot their middle finger off at every girl because they see all the nice guys past, present, and future rejections in every face. Being a nice guy is just like that movie says, sleeping alone.

I'm a "Nice Guy" myself and there are more than a few women looking for the "Bad Boy." Also there are more than a few guys looking for the "Bad Girl." While this may be true. Not all of us men are looking for the "Bad Girl." As well, not all women are looking for the "Bad Boy."

I firmly believe and I will believe this until I die, Nice guys finish last. There is no doubt in my mind. I just broke up with my gf. She dumped me for a guy who is a "Bad Boy." I am the "Nice Guy" but I can also be the "Bad Boy." Now, I've seen this guy that she dumped me for. Total loser. He has hair that looks greasy, it's long like a women's hair and he's got tattoos all the way down both of his arms.

I have tattoos but this guy is ridiculous. I love the line that women use. "I like you but only as a friend." Yeah right. I've heard that one before. Now, if a guy said that to a woman, we would look like the jerk. But if a woman says that to a guy, it's ok. No problem. Gimme a break!

Oh and what is with women google searching you to try and find out any background info on you, huh. What in the hell is that all about? If you women want to know something about us, just ask. Most guys will gladly volunteer the info.

Then she had the audacity to say and I quote, "We can still be friends." I said, "ARE YOU FRIGGIN KIDDING ME!" "AFTER WHAT YOU JUST SAID TO ME, YOU STILL WANNA BE FRIENDS!" "NO FRIGGIN WAY!"

Some women think that guys don't have any feelings or hurt inside. Let me fill you in on something. We do have feelings and we do hurt inside.

Everyone categorizes me as an overly nice girl. I always fall for the nice guy. And I'm always told we're just "really great friends." Guys are also looking for those bad girls too.

see, guys are always nice to the girls but the girls always want more in a relationship, i have tryed everything and me girl friend said that shes giving me a week. what should i have said to the besides, ok.i wont let u down?

also how come girls are always bitchs to guys that r giving them everything and treating them as best as they can, is it cuzz the girl is hott, or what?

how come the guy always has a feeling that a girl is cheating. also how come the girl wants the guys passwords to myspace and facebook. what if u give her yours and she wont give hers to you?
is she cheating, or hidding something?

what do i do if i have a last chance and if i blow it?

I think this is the best idea ever!! I am 30, with 3 kids (8, 4 & 1). I went to a Catholic school, and never (not even from my parents) had a true sex talk. Lucky for me there are books that begin to educate children as young as 7 on the understanding of their bodies as well as when they are older the other important issues. My husband and I are trying to make sure sex is not a subject of embarassment, but more natural. Websites like this will help to answer questions my children will have in the future.
Thank you,
Nicole

My fiancee and I have been together for two years 5 months. We broke up once at the beginning of the year for eactly one month because he said he need to be by himself for a while. During this break up he began dating someone even tho he and I were still sleeping together. What can I say I'm in love with him. At the same time I enisted in the army to start my life a new and it had been something I wanted to do since highschool. Well on the day i I was to be shipped out I found out that I was six week pregnant. Well of course the first thing I did was call him and tell him not know he was with her until later. Well he asked what I was going too do and an abortion was never an option for me. When I got back home, which was my moms house, we went to the doctor for a second opinion and there was oo mistake I wa pregnant. He told me he wanted to end the relationship with the new girl and try and wok things out well a few week after us getting back together I find out he was still in contactt with her. He was calling her from work and telling her he loved her and he even went to see her once while I was home on bed rest puking my brains out. Well he then said he called her in front of me and told her that the communication had to stop. Fast forward to now.....I still haven't gotten over the whole situation and I'm now 7 months pregnant not working and living with him. I truely do love him with all my heart ad try my hardest to trust him again but my heart is still broken and I'm afraid that I'm never going to be able to forgive him. That my heart is forever torn and i that will eventually drive us apart. I don't know if I'm just being paranoid but my heart is telling me something's not right. HELP!!!!!!!!!!