February 12th 2010

Well...It's the Thought That Counts...

I was snowed in at my apartment for a week (just emerged today). This gave me a chance to cross some movies off of my “watch when your roommate is gone so she doesn’t mock you” list. This is code for bad romantic comedies. I’ve noticed one major theme in all of them: the grand gesture. In the movies, the grand gesture is always followed up by “they lived happily ever after.” But in real life, the grand gesture can go horribly wrong and be downright awkward.

Exhibit A (and the only one you’ll be seeing here): Hippie Chick and The Overachiever.

The story goes like this: Hippie Chick was folding laundry and talking to Miss Sweetie Pie when there was a knock at the door. Hippie Chick opened the door to find The Overachiever, who lived eight hours away, standing there with two roses.

Here is the E! True Hollywood story of The Overachiever and Hippie Chick: They had known each other for three years before the grand gesture. They met their senior year of high school and became fast friends. But then, as fate would have it, they went to college at opposite ends of a very big state. Over the years they stayed in close contact, talking on the phone often, seeing each other at school breaks, and even working the same summer job. Pretty much everyone, besides Hippie Chick, knew that The Overachiever had a thing for her.

Hippie Chick: “What are you doing here?”

The Overachiever: “Hippie Chick, I have liked you for a long time and I need to know if you feel the same way.” He handed her a rose and continued, “I will wait here with the second rose while you decide whether or not you feel the same. But if you don’t have feelings for me, I will never mention my feelings again.” And with that he shut the door.

Hippie Chick turned to Miss Sweetie Pie: “What should I do?”

Miss Sweetie Pie: “Well…do you have feelings for him?”

Hippie Chick: “I don’t know! I have had 30 seconds to think about it. He had an eight-hour drive.”

Miss Sweetie Pie: “You can’t just leave him out there.”

Hippie Chick: “Do you think I can go out, grab the rose, and tell him I need more time?”

Miss Sweetie Pie: “Depends on how fast you run.”

Hippie Chick: “Not that fast.”

Have no fear, Hippie Chick did not just leave The Overachiever waiting outside the door -- she has more class than that. She opened the door, explained that she didn’t know how she felt, and suggested they go get some coffee. Because if you are going to have an awkward “you just drove eight hours, declared your love, and I don’t know how I feel conversation,” it’s best to be surrounded by people who don’t know you.

The minute Hippie Chick and The Overachiever were out the door, Miss Sweetie Pie called me and said, “You will never believe what just happened.” And she was right.

These are just the crazy things people tell me.