December 11th 2009

Teen Moms Are Everywhere--and Some of Them Aren't Teens

MTV’s new show Teen Mom premiered last week and introduced us to the difficulties involved with actually raising a child after pregnancy and delivery. Farrah wants to date, Maci and Ryan are attempting to get along and plan a wedding, Amber is trying to find balance in her life with baby Leah and boyfriend Gary, and Catelynn and Tyler are working to get back to normal after their adoption experience.

Though all of the mothers on the show are teens – the show is called Teen Mom, after all – their struggles might not be much different if they were in their 20s. Just because 20-something moms who had an unplanned pregnancy aren’t grouped in the “teen mom” category doesn’t mean they don’t have a tough time trying to raise their children and live their lives.

Farrah tries to find a way she can both date and raise her daughter Sophia on her own, against the wishes of her family, who think she should focus on being a mother. Had Farrah been just a few years older when she found out she was pregnant, not much would be different. She may have had a little more life experience, but she’d still feel lonely and wish for the close emotional bond that comes with a romantic relationship. Farrah grapples with finding a guy who will make her and Sophia happy, but she must also rely on the help of the people who disagree with her decisions – it’s her mom who has to watch Sophia while she looks for Mr. Right..

Having dropped out of high school, Amber misses her social life and feels trapped in her role as a stay-at-home mom. Amber’s anxiety reaches new heights when she’s home alone with Leah all day long. Her boyfriend Gary tries to help but only raises her stress level and worsens her mood. 20-something mothers can certainly relate: if they dropped out of college they’d miss their social calendar too, not to mention the degree they were working hard to achieve. Those who stay in school would still feel the pressure of keeping up with school work, along with the emotional challenges of raising a child in a rocky relationship.

Maci and Ryan attempt to plan their wedding but realize they’re going to have to sort out their differences in order to make a marriage work. Maci is frustrated with Ryan’s lack of dedication to her and their son, Bentley, and this is only amplified when Ryan leaves for a month for his job. Raising a child alone, even for mothers a few years older than Maci, is no easy task. We’ll have to stay tuned and find out if Maci and Ryan ever work things out.

MTV is trying to show us that raising a child when you’re still a teenager is difficult and requires an immense amount of dedication and sacrifice. They're right. But I'd add that no matter how old you are, having a baby before you’re ready and without a dependable partner requires a lot more than most people can give. “Teen Mom” is a lesson for all of us.