February 16th 2010

Teen Mom, 20s Dad

MTV’s Teen Mom has followed four of the original 16 & Pregnant girls during their first year as mothers, welcoming an eager audience into their lives to witness the challenges they face as young parents. We’ve seen sacrifices on the part of the girls--from earning a high school diploma to attending college to having a social life--as well as the impact that having a child has had on their relationships with friends and family. But those girls don’t get pregnant on their own; what about the dads?

Okay, so two of the fathers seen on the show, Ryan and Gary, aren’t exactly teens anymore, but being a 20-something father when you aren’t prepared isn’t that much easier. According to The National Campaign’s DCR Report, 58% of all births that result from an unplanned pregnancy were reported by men age 20–29. Many teen girls are dating guys a year or more older than themselves, and since two-thirds of teen pregnancies are to girls ages 18 and 19, it stands to reason that many teen pregnancies involve guys in their 20s, not teen guys.

Teen Mom shows not only the challenges that young mothers face in their first year of raising a child, but also what the fathers go through. Just because Ryan and Gary are in their 20s doesn’t mean they have all the answers. We see Maci and Ryan arguing constantly about Ryan’s lack of involvement in baby Bentley’s life, as well as his refusal to help and support Maci in any way. Similarly, cameras follow Amber and Gary as they grapple with the financial repercussions of having a baby, not to mention the drama that seems to swirl through their lives constantly.

Ryan, like many of his friends and other guys his age, likes to party and stay out late. However, unlike many of his friends, Ryan has a girlfriend and son to come home to, a reality that is difficult for him to accept. Before the arrival of Bentley, Ryan was able to balance his social life with a job and his relationship with Maci. Now it’s much harder. Recently unemployed, Ryan finds himself required to make major life decisions in order to provide for Maci and Bentley in the future, which places a new type of pressure on him. He isn’t mature enough to bring his feelings and anxieties into the dialogue so he withdraws entirely, leaving Maci on her own.

Unlike Ryan, Gary is devoted to his child, but he struggles too. He’s a high school graduate working as a certified nursing assistant and taking classes on the side--all while trying to help raise a daughter and keep his relationship with Amber intact. Gary’s sacrifices go practically unnoticed by the endlessly aggravated Amber, who struggles herself--with depression, GED classes, family drama, financial hardship, and of course, parenting.

We see a lot on TV about “teen pregnancy”--which is good because it’s an issue that deserves attention. Most of that coverage and those stories focus on the young girls who get pregnant long before they’re ready. Thanks to MTV’s 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom, we’re also seeing a lot about how an unplanned pregnancy affects the lives of guys in their 20s. I hope MTV will continue to keep us updated on how these two young couples adapt and adjust to their new roles as parents, roles that are extremely difficult to grow into when doing so isn’t your top priority.