January 22nd 2010

A Good Wing Woman Is Hard to Find

So the other day I was hanging out with Miss Manners, La Coquette, and Miss Imagination Station talking about what we had done the previous weekend. La Coquette had gone on a retreat with a group whose name I can never remember (it’s remembering details that really show you care) and had some news to report.

Me: “How was the retreat?”

“It was good” La Coquette said slyly and smirked.

Me: “Was what’s-his-bucket there?’”

La Coquette: “McHottie Pants? Yes, yes he was.”

The story goes like this: La Coquette and McHottie Pants had being eyeing each other for a while. They had exchanged some flirty text messages and an occasional email, but nothing had ever really happened. That is until The Wing Woman burst onto the scene.

The Wing Woman and La Coquette were rooming together at the retreat. While they were getting ready to go to cocktail hour (and by “cocktail hour” we mean a night of drinking that starts at 6:00 pm), La Coquette mentioned that she was interested in McHottie Pants. Turns out The Wing Woman and McHottie Pants were pretty good friends so, being that she liked La Coquette, The Wing Woman decided to hone her inner-Maverick (think Top Gun, not John McCain) and make it her mission to help La Coquette’s ego write checks her body would gladly cash.

So while they were at cocktail hour she talked La Coquette up to McHottie Pants. She mentioned how La Coquette was so “hot, smart, and funny” and then flawlessly included La Coquette in their conversation. And then, like any good wing man, she walked away and left them to talk away the rest of the night.

By the time last call was poured, the conversation had hit the “end of the night what should we do now?” stage.

McHottie Pants: “So, it’s kind of late. Can I walk you to your room?”

La Coquette was nervous. Can I walk you to your room was clearly code for “can we mess around now?” La Coquette was sharing a room with The Wing Woman and didn’t want be a total jerk by bringing a guy back. But then her phone buzzed and she received a text from The Wing Woman.

Text: “Staying in Miss Co-conspirator's room tonight so you can have the room all to yourself. Make good use of it!”

Apparently while La Coquette and McHottie Pants were talking, The Wing Woman went back to the room, packed all her stuff, and found somewhere else to sleep. Cuz that’s what a good wing woman would do.

La Coquette smiled and said “Of course you can walk me to my room.”

Cut back to present day:

Me: “So, what happened?”

La Coquette: “We had a very lovely evening.”

Me: “And by ‘very lovely evening’ you mean you had sex.”

La Coquette: “Twice.”

Me: “Highway to the danger zone, indeed.”

These are just the crazy things people tell me.