January 29th 2010

Dear Miss Inconsiderate: Your Hand-Towel Privileges Are Revoked

The other night I was having dinner with Tiny Dancer and discussing the difference in our living situations, which turned into a sharing-roommate-horror-stories session. I must confess that I never have any stories to contribute to these conversations. All of my roommates have been fantastic, and I’m not just saying that because they read my blog.

Tiny Dancer used to have this roommate, Miss Inconsiderate. Things started out okay; Miss Inconsiderate was a nice, quiet, clean roommate. She and her boyfriend were always quiet if Tiny Dancer was home and they respected the “don’t walk around naked unless you are positive your roommate is out of town” rule. Around month three, the wheels came off the wagon. Miss Inconsiderate and her boyfriend started having really loud sex, not respecting aforementioned naked rule, and even using Tiny Dancer’s towels to shower.

Cut back to our dinner table:

Me: “Eww that is so gross.”

Tiny Dancer: “It gets worse.”

Me: “How could it possibly get worse?”

Tiny Dancer: “One time I came home to find jizz on my hand towel.”

I sat speechless for a good 15 seconds.

Me: “Wait. . . what. . . he. . . jacked off into your hand towel?”

Tiny Dancer: “No. I think he used it after they had sex.”

Me: “Why on earth would he think it is okay to use someone else’s towel?”

Tiny Dancer: “I know! You would think by age 30 he would know that was super gross.”

Me: “That is wrong on so many levels.”

These are just the crazy things people tell me.