June 16th 2009

Coming of Age, Hollywood Style

Last week, The Washington Post examined Hollywood's recent fascination with 20- and 30-somethings who are still fumbling their way towards something resembling adulthood. Appparently, being a grownup is so scary that being immobilized is way better. Until: something big happens that grows you up fast. In Hollywood, that turning point seems to be an unplanned pregnancy. "Knocked Up," "The Last Kiss" and "Away We Go" are just a few of the movies Post writer Monica Hesse points to as examples of babies turning aging adolescents into grownups.

Is that really a baby's job?

In real life, 7 in 10 pregnancies among single 20-somethings are unplanned. Most of the young adults I've encountered say that getting pregnant and becoming a parent is something they want someday, but not right now. And yet they also admit that they're not doing much to prevent pregnancy. If it happens, it happens. Translation? If I make a mistake -- like getting pregnant accidentally -- I should be grown up enough now to take responsibility and deal with it. Even if I don't feel like a grownup. And even if that's not what I was planning. That is, if I had a plan.

So is getting pregnant by accident the manifestation of some secret desire to grow up? Is it a way to become the adult you know you should be but you just aren't ready to embrace yet? Having sex doesn't make you a grownup. But being a parent sure does. Doing what your baby needs instead of what you want. Being that baby's whole universe. Finding your inner parent. Talk about adulthood.

Hollywood is right that an unplanned pregnancy can be the perfect dramatic device for giving form to a shapeless future -- immediately and forever. But in real life, instead of relying on a baby to force you to grow up, what if the ticket to adulthood was planning for a pregnancy when you want it, and doing everything you can to prevent it til then? That way, the baby just gets to be the baby.

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This post was written by guest blogger Marisa Nightingale. As Senior Entertainment Media Advisor to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, Marisa schmoozes with the suits and scribes of Hollywood and New York. When she’s home in D.C., she’s mom to Nora, 4, and Jacob, 2. Ask her sometime which job is harder.