August 13th 2009

Adventures in Dating: A Social Experiment - Part I

I’m going to be honest. Growing up, I learned everything I know about sex, love and relationships from television. I think I entered the scene with 7th Heaven. Since Lucy started dating when she was 12, I figured I should start dating when I was 12. During my OC phase, seeing Marissa date Ryan, the bad boy, made me start peering over the proverbial train tracks, just to see what I was missing. Even now, my nights spent in Gossip Girl land make me yearn to date a guy like Dan - perfectly scruffy, perfectly witty and, most importantly, perfectly into dating. I may have spent one hour a night immersed in my television life but every time I came back to reality, I was faced with a hard truth: dating did not exist outside my television box.

Now, I shouldn’t generalize with a “dating is dead” statement. While it may have evolved somewhat since the days of sock-hops and going steady, Generation Y-ers like myself are still completely capable of healthy relationships. It’s not all “rainbow parties” and “hook-up-a-thons” like the media may imply. However, the path taken to that healthy relationship is a strange one, complete with elaborate rules for texting and various interpretations of the words “hooking up” and “hanging out”. As an experiment, I decided to mix things up and try my hand at dating…retro-style. No hooking up or hanging out, I was going to date. I can pretend that I’m approaching the experiment in a strictly academic manner, complete with ethnographic research and scholarly journals. That would be a big lie. I suppose the experiment could come across as a little more self-serving. So, let’s face it: I’m on the prowl.

By stepping outside one’s comfort zone and subjecting one’s self to social situations that could result in extreme humiliation and discomfort or even intense feelings of awkwardness, I will try to penetrate the unexplored: the dating scene (pun only slightly intended). As a newly-initiated member of the 21-and-over club, I figured I'd go to various places of nightlife and try my hand at traditional dating. How hard could it be?

Night One: I didn’t waste any time. A friend asked me how I felt about traveling across the city to hear a friend’s band play that night. Outside of comfort zone? Check. Could result in discomfort? Check. I was in. Putting on my designated “dating” outfit (think Rory Gilmore with a slight hint of Tila Tequila), and I was out. Two hours into the night, my subject approaches me. A cute recent-grad, ex-President of his frat and friend of a friend, he qualified on all fronts. Most importantly, I knew of his reputation with girls: hook-ups galore. The perfect subject for an experiment on dating!

Disclaimer: while I’m treating this as an experiment, I was definitely into the guy. I’m not that clinical.

We talked for the rest of the time. I purposely steered clear of anything suggestive - I did not want to give off the air of a one-night anything. He was surprisingly receptive, engaging me in discussions about the media’s influence and mocking my choice of news sources (I stand firm to this day that People.com is a legitimate news source). And, at the end of the night…he asked for my number. Phase one, complete. I can tell my social experiment is off to a good start as he hailed a cab for me, and only me, and sent me on my way home for the night.

To be continued...

*****

Lauren Mann is an intern in the Entertainment Media and Audience Strategy department of the National Campaign. She is a senior at George Washington University, majoring in Communications and Journalism. She enjoys being sarcastic and seeing if people catch on.