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Katy Otto

June 16th 2010

Closing Off to Opening Up: One Girl's Journey

- Katy Otto

Everybody's sick for something that they can find fascinating--everyone but you and even you aren't feeling well.

April 16th 2010

On Boundaries: Be Like an Amoeba

- Katy Otto

Someone recently made a drawing for me of what she considered to be the ideal boundary structure a person can have. It was shaped like an amoeba. She said that amoebas have the ability to change shape and proximity at will, and in relation to their environments. She imparted this notion on to me, and drew a parallel with interpersonal relationships. “Look at it as you would having amoeba-like boundaries around your heart,” she told me. “That way, you are always protected but not at the expense of ever having anyone come close to you.”

January 14th 2010

In 2010, Let’s Just Not Be Friends

- Katy Otto

Dear XXX,

I know it makes you comfortable to think about how close it is possible for us to be one day. Maybe you like the idea of the alchemy: from intense love to the province of the platonic. You have done it in the past; everyone you know seems to be able to do it. Take it down a notch, be okay with it, be just friends.

But I don't care if it makes other people comfortable. I have finally gotten to a point in life where I learning how to make me comfortable, even at the cost of the comfort of others, at the cost of your comfort.

December 9th 2009

An Ode to Good Dudes

- Katy Otto

As someone who's outspoken and calls herself a feminist, I have been categorized as a 'man-hater' on more than one occasion. Would that life were that simple. I was struck once by a bell hooks quote that critique is the strongest expression of love, because it has at its core the belief that the person you are talking to is capable of change and growth. Truth is I--like many other feminists--love men. And like so many things I love, they have the capacity to blow my mind one moment and break my heart the next. When I find myself critical of what I consider to be the negative and harmful implications of traditional masculinity, it is because I think more, and better, is possible. This is an acknowledgement of the more and better this world could demand and expect.

October 21st 2009

Eyelash Batting, Pursuit, Conquest, and Cognitive Dissonance

- Katy Otto

Big, big smile to the gas station attendant. I was ten years old, and it was summer. I was riding in the front seat of my grandfather’s camper, on my way to meet my mother and sister at the pool. I could detect a glint in the teenage boy’s eyes, and found myself tossing my hair and batting my eyelashes. At ten.

My stoic German grandfather looked over at me. He frowned. As we pulled out of the lot, he moved the van into a parking spot. “Katherine, I need to talk to you about something,” he said firmly.