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Blue-eyed Girl

May 7th 2010

Adventures of a Perpetual Player: A Backwards Trilogy (Part 1)

- Stefanie

And now we are back to the beginning of the Dawson's Creek-esque drama that filled our lives for so long. This is the last installment of our Trilogy. Let's hope there won't need to be an epilogue. But you never know. . .

Adventures of a Perpetual Player: Why do you think we’re dating?

April 9th 2010

Syphilis in the Time of Facebook

- Stefanie

The other day I received a voicemail from Blue-eyed Girl. She and her boyfriend had recently split up and were not on good terms. There was some pretty strong evidence that he had cheated on her, which was supported by the fact he gave her an STD.

The voicemail began: “OMG, I have won the unfriending war.”

Blue-eyed Girl and I have been battling for the “Most Awkward Facebook Interaction” award for some time. Being unfriended from Iraq had given me a slight advantage with the East German judge, (wait, don’t you watch ice skating?) but the rest of the judging panel was still undecided.

March 5th 2010

Please Mind the Birth Control Gap

- Stefanie

The other day I got a call from Blue-eyed Girl.

Blue-eyed Girl: “My doctor just shamed me.”

Me: “Did you deserve it?”

Blue-eyed Girl: “Oh, I forgot I was talking to the Patron Saint of Tough Love.”

Me: “So that’s a yes.”

Story goes like this: Blue-eyed Girl had recently switched her birth control and had never gotten around to filling her new prescription. So she and G.I. Joe had condoms with them at all times. One night they went out drinking with friends and when they came home, discovered they didn’t have any left. However, being that they were both drunky pants, they decided it would be fine.

October 2nd 2009

Blue-eyed Girl to Surfer Dude: “Damn straight it’s you.”

- Stefanie

The other night I was talking to Blue-eyed Girl and she reminded me of a concept that I have tried very hard to forget. . . non-dating break-ups.

Blue-eyed Girl: “Remember that time Surfer Dude called to break-up with me and we weren’t even dating?”

Me: “Umm. . . .YES, didn’t his girlfriend call you or something?” I start to giggle.

Blue-eyed Girl: “Yeah, or something.”

August 28th 2009

The Expiration Date is Not a Suggestion

- Stefanie

The other day Blue-eyed Girl told me that, unbeknownst to her, she had been playing without a goalie for about a month.

Blue-eyed Girl: “Don’t get mad. . . I just found out I’ve been taking expired birth control.”

Me: “What!?”

I immediately switch into crisis management mode. Confession: I tell my friends, in no uncertain terms, that they cannot have an unplanned pregnancy on my watch, while I work for The Campaign. It would be an epic fail on my part, because if you can’t prevent an unplanned pregnancy among your friends, where can you? So I tend to get a little dramatic about these things. It’s an occupational hazard.

August 21st 2009

Bad Decisions are Like Forest Fires

- Stefanie

Let’s Reevaluate our Decision-making Paradigm.

What are bad decisions?

The other day on the way to work Miss Manners and I were discussing what we should do over this weekend.

Miss Manners: “We could go out dancing?”

Me: “That would work. Especially since Sunshine Girl called me last night and said she ‘wanted to go make some bad decisions.’ I think dancing could facilitate bad-decision-making.”

Miss Manners: “I find that when you go out with the intent of making bad decisions, it never really happens. We always end up talking to gay guys/dudes with girlfriends/married guys who are trying to be good wingmen to the one single guy in the group.”